sheridan | [Closed] Alone, awake and thinking of...the weekend we were in love.

[Wow, Richard! How did you know?? It's almost like you were there. Yeah, it was exactly like that.]

Oh. Yeah...I guess I knew that.

[What Richard's trying to say makes sense. And yet, isn't that just it? Cheria may be into that kind of thing, and she seems to like helping others with their love lives, but when it's just them? ...No, he can't think of a single time it hasn't ended awkwardly.]

[He does care for Cheria. For that matter, he's had a crush on her ever since they were reunited (even if that had blown up in his face, too). But passion? He's not sure that's a word he'd use. If she were in trouble, he'd be so passionate about it he'd probably need a bucket of cold water thrown in his face, but with "romantic endeavors"... Well, it's kind of hard to feel anything like that when it's all so complicated.]

I remember walking in on Raymond once when he was trying to woo Cheria, but, that's not me.

[ ~~He knows you all too well, Asbel.~~

The mention of the more... lovelorn Oswell, to put it mildly, has Richard raising his brows. ]

I would certainly hope not. [ His tone is a bit lighter with amusement, shaking his head. Imagining Asbel acting remotely like the man in the stories he's heard is more than a little disconcerting. ] Everyone expresses their feelings their own way, after all. It would be disingenuous to try otherwise.

[ Of course, the problem is that miscommunication. Still: ] I don't think those expressions have to be dramatic; they'd simply have to convey your feelings to her.

[But isn't that what people do? Make declarations of love? Er... well, Cheria hadn't seemed too happy to hear it at the time, and Raymond had gotten pretty embarrassingly over-the-top, claiming Cheria had enslaved him and all that. (Asbel thinks he caught the words "princess" and "goddess" in there somewhere, too, but he isn't sure.)]

[Still, he's even more confused now. Conveying his feelings is what he thought he'd been doing all along.]

Yeah, but. What if the other person doesn't really get what you're trying to convey? I guess I don't really have the slightest idea what counts as romantic or not.

[Are those lessons still on the table, Richard? Because. He's still totally lost on what to do.]

[ Oh, dear. Asbel's confusion goes even deeper than he could imagine- he'd thought he would have some idea on what constituted romantic acts, and yet... ]

Well, some expressions do have overlap. Things such as holding hands, or embracing one another, can be as equally platonic as romantic, depending on the circumstance and desire driving those actions. Therefore, it's not always quite about the action being an outright declaration.

[ Explaining that desire, however... might prove difficult. He can understand his own feelings on that matter, but that's a very subjective experience. ~~And to be honest, he's no gold standard for actually conveying his feelings in a way they can be understood, even if that's mostly intentional.~~ ]

For example, the difference between holding hands with Sophie and Cheria.

[Look, he understands the basics, okay? But he thinks Cheria must have been fishing for something a little more, he doesn't know... something else? Not what Raymond did, and he's sure if he'd gone in for a kiss or something she would have slapped him or maybe worse -- stopped talking to him again just like last time, back when he'd tripped on stage in front of everyone.]

[~~If the others knew that was "last time" they'd surely let out a collective groan.~~]

So in other words it's a combination of both? Action and..."desire"?

[It feels so weird when he says it, but that makes more sense than it doesn't. So, huh. Sophie and Cheria. With Sophie, holding her hand usually came with a swell of pride over how far she's come, how much she's grown, and how glad he is to call her his daughter, even if being called "father" still feels a bit strange. With Cheria, though, his heart usually stutters and his face gets hot, sometimes to the point where he can barely think straight. Not in a bad way, but...different. Though, if they're speaking of hand-holding...]

But, yeah. I think I get what you mean. When I'm holding Sophie's hand, or Cheria's, it doesn't feel exactly the same. Though, it's also not very often that Cheria asks me to hold her hand in the first place.

Edited 2022-01-11 21:02 (UTC)

[ A combination of both. That's a pretty good way to put it; Richard nods in agreement. After all, those acts aren't romantic acts without that desire behind them- and feelings not being acted on would never reach the other person.

He wonders if feelings not being acted on can ever truly dissipate. He'd thought they'd alleviate with time, perhaps foolishly, but... with Asbel's wedding looming on the horizon, the both of them talking about passion and romance, he can feel a familiar heartache.

Spending time with Asbel like this, trying to untangle and mend his relationship with Cheria- they're all things that he genuinely wants. After all, he wants to ensure Asbel's happiness. ]

It might be prudent to ask her if she would like to hold hands as well, Asbel. It may make her happy to know that you want these things- she may feel as though she's imposing on you if she's the only one asking.

[ It would certainly be a good start, he imagines. ]

Edited (/waves) 2022-01-11 21:07 (UTC)

[It's too bad Asbel can't begin to guess at Richard's internal struggle. Maybe then he could at least offer him some comfort, even if he doesn't know the answer to that question either.]

[This silence is more thoughtful than confused, and finally he nods.]

It's worth a shot, at least. I guess it is pretty impossible to know what someone else is thinking or feeling if we never ask, huh? Maybe I'm just...imagining things because I'm too nervous to try.

[A quiet, halfway embarrassed laugh. He'd never share that little tidbit with anyone else, but with Richard he doesn't mind being completely honest. He leans back a little, the hand supporting his weight mere centimeters from Richard's as he tilts his head to look up at the stars.]

[He's completely and warmly sincere when he adds:]

Thanks, Richard. I already feel a little better about this. You always seem to point me in the right direction when I'm lost.

Edited 2022-01-12 01:49 (UTC)

It could be. I understand the sentiment, though- reaching out would put anyone in a vulnerable place.

[ The irony of Asbel's words aren't lost on him. And still, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy: there are a million rationalizations that Richard could use to still paint the same, inescapable conclusion. He'd agonized through them all in efforts to reason with his heart, to console it with platitudes and compromise. He was a king; Asbel was a lord. They were both expected to carry on their lineage. Cheria loved Asbel, and Asbel seemed to love her too.

Every single justification added layers and layers, hiding the simple truth beneath every fervent stroke of the brush, the simple fear of losing what he already had... his first, and dearest friend. In that way, empathizing with Asbel's nerves is only natural. ]

Of course. I'll always be here for you, Asbel. [ He meets Asbel's warmth with his own, unable to help the fondness that wrinkles his eyes and curves his lips up as he regards him again.

When he shifts ever so slightly to make himself more comfortable, his gloved fingers gently collide with the side of Asbel's hand. The mere touch, after being so lost in his own head, is enough to send a jolt of electric warmth up his arm. Still, Richard keeps his composure as best as he can, slowly exhaling as his head tilts up, too- following his friend's gaze to the stars above.

He doesn't move his hand. ]

[Asbel can feel that warmth, even if he can't exactly make out Richard's features in the dark. And for a moment it flutters there in his chest like a cozy summer breeze.]

Thank you.

[Asbel doesn't pull his away either. He doesn't mind sharing the same space at all. In fact, here by Richard's side, he feels calmer than he has all night, and for a few seconds he lets himself pretend that they're at the beginning or the end of another exciting journey together. Just like in Richard's books.]

[His own words to Lambda echo in his mind, about reaching out, and he has to wonder why he ever stopped. Surely feelings, even complicated ones, aren't something to just cork up and set on a shelf to collect dust, right?]

You know, I never told you this, but I'm glad to have you back, Richard. I'm glad we can sit and talk together like this. So even if things get crazy in the future, don't forget that you can call on me anytime. I may not have all the answers, but I'll always come help you.

[ As Richard's nerves settle, the touch ebbs away into something comforting- anchoring, even. Still, though, Asbel's words make him grateful for the dark; he can feel his face warming at his friend's candid kindness. ]

I know. [ And isn't that just it? He's never been able to trust in someone quite as much as this. His words are so touching because there's never been an ulterior motive, a reason to doubt. It's inspiring, really. And sometimes, he can't help but respond in kind. ] You've always been there- it's all thanks to you that we're able to enjoy this scenery now.

[ After all, Asbel saved him- as well as the world. ]

These moments may be few and far in between, but... I cherish every one.

[ Perhaps more than Asbel will ever know. ]

It wasn't just me. But if I had to do it again, I'd do it again in a heartbeat every time.

[Well now who's embarrassed? (Hint: it's him.) To think they've come so far. He can't imagine what life would've been like if he hadn't met Richard, or if he'd listened when he told him to go away and leave him alone. He'd never even realize what a great friend he could have made - one he'd be missing, if only he knew.]

[And for that, he's grateful too.]

And if that's the case, we'll just have to make more of them. Lots more.

I mean, I know you've got lots of things to take care of back in Barona, and I'm always drowning in paperwork, but whenever we can.

Edited 2022-01-12 20:09 (UTC)

[ Well, that makes two of them. Asbel's complete lack of doubt in his decision is enough to prompt a shy chuckle; Richard is clearly pleased to hear it.

After all, he owes so much to Asbel- his life, definitely, but also his happiness. To think that he could have never barged in through that window... never let the light in.

And now, here he is, so casually offering more of it. ]

You'll probably become even busier than I am from here on out. [ Of course, he's joking- but there is some truth to it. He's not going to monopolize Asbel's free time when it would be more wisely spent with his future wife. ] Still, I hope it's alright if I hold you to that.

[ He turns a bit more to properly face Asbel, since he's leaning back; his hand, turning ever so slightly as well to better support him, has their fingers brushing. Maybe there is a slight selfishness in his refusal to pull away, even if it would be the proper thing to do... but there are worse things. Right? ]

... Do you remember when I asked you and Sophie if you would like to accompany me in discovering more of the world?

Of course it is. We're friends.

But if I'm honest, I'm not sure I can keep up if things are busier than they are now. Mom and Cheria are already sending me into town at least three times a day. I never realized planning was so... involved.

[A part of him will be glad when it's all over. When life calms down and returns to normal. The new normal?]

[The first time it happened, Asbel figured it must've been a mistake, but when he feels Richard's gloved fingers brush against his again, he wonders if Richard might've actually done so on purpose. They had been talking about hand-holding, and he could understand if Richard might've been a bit lonely leading up to the party. After all, things have been pretty hectic, time has been flying on by, and sometimes at dinner or when he's tucking Sophie into bed he asks himself where it all went to. He won't say anything, but he does scoot a bit closer so they're sitting shoulder-to-shoulder -- almost, but not quite.]

Yeah, I remember. It was right after we got back from Fodra. We made a promise to meet on Lhant Hill whenever you decided you were ready to go.

It definitely should calm down after the ceremony. At the very least, everything should be prepared well in advance.

[ It'll be a superb wedding, no doubt. Richard can't imagine either Lady Kerri or Cheria would leave any stone unturned in preparation for the perfect ceremony, and the thought of them sending poor Asbel out on numerous errands makes him hide a smile behind his free hand.

So Asbel moving closer the way he does surprises him- and he might even catch a glimpse of the lingering rosiness to Richard's cheeks, if he looks closely enough. Still, Richard can't find it in himself to look away. ]

I've been thinking about it a lot lately.

[ Time continues marching forward, relentless in its stride, and Richard finds himself thinking much the same things. It had been years since they'd made that promise together; ever since, more and more responsibilities began piling upon his shoulders. With the wedding soon approaching, it almost felt as though the window was closing.

At this proximity, he can make out most of Asbel's features. There were no drastic changes, no- but sometimes he'd spot the beginnings of a thoughtful wrinkle that would one day never disappear, and he'd realize that they were all aging- slowly, but surely. ]

Time keeps slipping away from us. And yet, I find myself wanting to make good on that promise. [ Before things get too complicated. ]

[Is it a fond but exasperated sigh or a weak laugh? Even he's not too sure.]

I hope it does, even a bit. They've been at this for months already. You'd think the wedding was lasting a whole week, not a few hours.

[And yes, he's had the talk. Several times. About how this is a life changing event and he should be more involved in the preparations himself, but. Honestly? The girls get pretty scary when they're in "planning mode" and he'd rather support them from afar by handling the more straight-forward tasks. Like shopping.]

[Unlike all the clamor around the ceremony, Richard's little adventure feels like a salve, nostalgically remembered and gently offered.]

You have?

[It seems so long ago, Asbel's a little surprised that of all things this has been on Richard's mind. He isn't wrong, though. In fact he echoes his own thoughts about time. One day, they might not have a chance to go anymore. He doesn't want that. Asbel goes quiet for a minute, watching Richard, and then he decides.]

We...should do it, then. We should go on another journey.

[ Aw. Richard meets that lack of enthusiasm with a sympathetic look. He does hope that with a bit of renewed effort and communication, Asbel can find himself feeling a bit more excited for the wedding, so...

It's selfish, isn't it? The way that Richard's stomach flutters when Asbel watches him, when he tells him they should go on that journey together. It'd be difficult to plan for, to make happen, and yet he finds himself wanting to more than anything else. ]

Asbel... [ The smile that spreads on his face is slow- stilting and unsure, but completely and utterly genuine with affection. Those fingers, ever so slightly overlapping his, curl enough to hold the ends of Asbel's own. ] It'll be difficult to find the time, certainly. But, if it's something that you still want to do- I'll plan for it.

[ After all, he doesn't want to cause even more trouble. ]

[He shakes his head a little at the look of sympathy. It's all right. They seem committed, and he'll happily support them however he can -- just as long as he doesn't get dragged into the middle of one of their meetings.]

[Asbel knows it...won't be easy. He has his own duties to work around, even more with the ceremony on the horizon, but. He wants to give Richard this chance. To see what else Ephinea has to offer them without a war or a coupe or some other trouble at their backs.]

Come on, Richard. You're starting to make it sound like this was my idea. If you want to go, then we'll find a way for it to happen. Besides, even the king needs a vacation every once in awhile, right?

[This time he's pretty sure Richard's trying to reach his hand, and he'll shift his weight awkwardly so he can turn his palm to make that possible, an amused grin tugging at his mouth.]

I'll show you some of the places we visited before. And we can find new ones to explore, too. Wherever the wind leads us, I guess.

And then we'll figure out ways to make Windor, Ephinea, and Fodra even better than they are now, bit by bit.

[See? He remembers everything you said, Richard. He wouldn't forget that.]

[ Asbel's gentle enthusiasm brings him relief. It was his idea, but that didn't quite justify pulling his dear friends from their busy, settling lives for his own pleasure. ]

You know, you just may be right about that. And as a king, I also have to look out for those who rule these lands.

[ Richard's way of making the sentiment mutual, of course. Asbel might have less power in the political machine, but that doesn't mean he isn't entirely too busy with the upkeep of Lhant as well.

For a split second, he thinks his friend is trying to pull his hand away- but instead, he simply turns his palm over, grinning as though it's the most natural thing in the world. Richard, by comparison, is certain to be overthinking- but that doesn't stop him from making the leap, the tips of his fingers sliding along Asbel's open palm to find their space between his.

And he's stolen the words right from Richard's mouth, too. For a near dizzying moment, he can't seem to understand how this wasn't enough. How this couldn't be enough for someone- being considered and cared for the way Asbel did best. It's a strange emotion, born from the conflicting circumstances of the evening entwining with the way those words wash over him, full of meaning and promise.

The promise that he'd accompany him on this new adventure. ]

Wherever the wind leads us. [ He looks pleased at the mere thought. How long had it been since he'd done anything or gone anywhere without being bound by some sort of purpose? ] Yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea. We should make sure to visit your brother and everyone else as well.

[ Well, since they're already talking about it, they may as well share ideas, right? ]

Do you have any places in mind?

[A soft laugh.]

I guess I can't argue with that. Just don't be too surprised if I start coming to you from now on whenever I need some time off. It's not usually so easy to get.

[But isn't it natural? They've done this so many times already that Asbel doesn't even second-guess himself. Surely some of the warmth of his hand can be felt through those gloves, and even if not, Asbel's fingers still manage to find the gaps between his to curl firmly and gently protective around the back of Richard's hand.]

And well, I guess I hadn't really thought too hard about where, but...

[No time like the present, right? So he considers. It's not exactly a bucket list, but he wants to take Richard places that will either amuse or amaze him, places that'll leave him feeling a little happier and help him relax for a bit.]

You've never been to Katz Korner, right? I'm sure you'd get a kick out of it. And we could try to locate the Rockgagong while we're visiting Hubert in Strahta. I don't think any of our stories really do justice to just how huge the thing is. Oh! And we should stop by the Velanik Inn too, see how everyone's doing. I wonder if the playwright we met has come up with any new performances lately?

And then, who knows. Maybe if we time things just right, we can swing back by Gralesyde and catch one of their festivals.

I think I can live with that, so long as you indulge me with the pleasure of your company.

[ Would he truly ever object to Asbel coming to see him in Barona more often? And while Richard wouldn't always be able to get around his own engagements, he would do his utmost to make time.

It's a blessing, and perhaps a curse, then, that Asbel doesn't noticeably perceive or consider Richard's feelings and actions as anything out of the ordinary. Because despite becoming used to it, his heart still bursts with affection at the way Asbel holds his hand so securely. The warmth is especially nice- while Lhant isn't particularly chilly this time of year, the late night breeze is left unchecked without the sun.

And so, as Asbel begins considering ideas out loud, Richard lets his voice wash over him; that strange, sharp feeling erodes away with its gentle tide. Certainly, he's not surprised Asbel already has such a range of activities in mind, with how well-travelled their journeys had made him. But the choices are- much more intriguing than they are practical. Well, he did ask for experiences. ]

Katz Korner...? [ ... what is that? He doesn't recall seeing it on any map. ] I can't say I've ever heard of that. It seems like I might have more to learn than I thought.

[ He doesn't seem too bothered by that- although, at the mention of Gralesyde's festivities, he looks thoughtful again. ]

I should look into possible events taking place in Strahta. Wasn't there a beach resort in that area as well...?

[ He has to admit his curiosity... ]

[He may not perceive them exactly, but he has to admit that sometimes the things that come out of Richard's mouth are... a little embarrassing. The kind that makes his face hot and forces him to look away and collect himself because the way his eyes smile, and the way his voice gets all warm, does something funny inside his chest. Sometimes... he's really not surprised at all why Richard's so popular with his people. When he's relaxed like this, he's downright charming. In his opinion. Not that he'd know.]

I'm pretty sure I can do that. If I send too many letters, Frederic will start wondering what's up.

[And then their diabolical plans to acquire extra vacation time will all be ruined.]

Katz Korner is...well, it's really something. I don't think many people have heard of it, and I'll bet the Katz probably prefer to keep it that way. But it's definitely worth a visit. The Katz themselves are pretty talented, too.

[Ah, but at the mention of the beach resort--]

The beach resort? Oh yeah, we went there once! It's like a miniature ocean inside of a hotel. I should still have the prize I won around here somewhere.

Edited 2022-01-18 15:08 (UTC)

And we can't have that.

[ He squeezes Asbel's hand lightly to enunciate that point, perhaps emboldened by how easy it feels to do so.

There's something conspiratorial about all of this- something reminiscent of a more innocent time, when they'd first met. Sneaking around to see each other, plotting a vacation as they hid, tucked away from the world atop Lord Windegarde...

Richard is extremely observant of Asbel's occasional glance straying, the rather fetching embarrassment pinking his cheeks. Where he fails, though, is connecting observable actions to the proper, perhaps positive conclusion- the conclusion that he may be flustering Asbel, too. ]

You're only piquing my curiosity further. [ Although, he supposes there's no use asking when he's certain the visit would explain just what these Katz were.

The resort sounds rather spectacular- a miniature ocean? Richard perks up curiously at the mention of a prize. ] A prize?

Guess we can't.

[He laughs softly.]

[It kind of does, huh? It's... nice. How easy this all is, and how willing Richard is to join him in this (totally innocent) conspiracy of theirs. Richard may be the only one who gets him this way, someone he can goof-off with without going totally bonkers or being scolded for clinging on to childish tendencies.]

Besides, isn't the whole point of planning a trip to get you excited and pump you up for the journey ahead?

[He rubs the back of his neck, hopefully not looking too fetching as the memory occurs to him and his expression turns sheepish.]

Oh, that. Yeah. The girls were taking a long time to get ready, and I didn't want to have too much fun without them. So I entered a contest while we were waiting around. I wasn't really expecting to win it, though.

Edited 2022-01-20 04:33 (UTC)

That, it is. I'm already looking forward to it. But I'll have to find some activities to surprise you, too.

[ It's too easy, in fact, to give into the childish excitement that these plans bring. After all, it's too good to be true, isn't it? And yet, here they are, talking about these things in a very real way. And now, Asbel's excited too- so he can't even think about disappointing his dear friend.

Maybe it takes some of the magic of spontaneity away, but he's definitely going to find a way to impress Asbel in return.

That said, Asbel would look fetching to him most of the time- but he'll admit his curiosity at that sheepish look of his when the contest is mentioned. ]

What sort of contest was it? [ Richard might tilt his head. After all, his dear friend looks a little embarrassed about it, and that only makes him want to know more... sorry, Asbel. ]

[Activities to surprise him, huh? Knowing Richard, the possibilities are bottomless, from something most people would consider normal to something totally goofy that absolutely no one could've seen coming. And that really does make it a surprise! He only wishes they could have taken this journey a long time ago. If their schedules weren't so hectic all the time, if events had played out a little differently... Is it bad to think that way?]

[Asbel smiles, even if his face is still a bit pink in the dark with his hand tucked against the base of his neck, and it's with total light-hearted confidence that he says:]

Me too. Besides, I know you can do it.

[Surprise him, that is. With Asbel, success is pretty much assured.]

[Uh, but about the contest...]

Actually? It was a fashion contest... They were judging to see who had the best swimsuit.

[Probably not what Richard expected to hear. ~~Or anyone else for that matter~~.]

[Closed] Alone, awake and thinking of...the weekend we were in love.

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velanik stage play... part two...

wouldn't that be the greatest thing ever? the white knight: a tale of loyalty and devotion

so cute... richard would get so into his role, too...

all the dramatics! he'd have such a good time! asbel would too, watching him ham it up. :)

/qvq\

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i feel like these two could chat until the sun came up ;v;

Probably! And they just might!

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